Helpful tip: You could also end any written message with a “love” closing: “Love,” “With love,” “Lots of love,” “Love and prayers,” etc.Īccording to Tracy, it’s stressful for someone in hospice to worry about how loved ones will get along without them. “It hurts to let you go, but I wouldn’t trade one moment of all we’ve shared.“Hoping you’re having a good day and sending you my love…”.Even if it’s not the kind of relationship where you say “love” often, this is one time of life when you’ll feel good that you did. It’s about the warmest thing you can say to a family member or good friend, and it means even more to someone who is dying. “I love you” is the other key message Marn took care to express often to her parents while they were in hospice. Helpful tip: Embracing a gratitude mindset can help you shift your message focus from the sadness of dying to the meaning in living. “Thanks for being the one and only you and for being a blessing to so many people-especially me.”.
“I wish we could have more time together, but I want you to know I cherish the times we have had and the time we still have.”.My life will forever be better because you’ve been part of it.” “I so admire the warm, funny, genuine person you are.“You’ve been such an important part of my life, and for that, I’ll always be grateful.”.“Thinking of the good life you’ve lived, the great times we’ve shared, and feeling so grateful for you.”.There have been more of them than I can count.” “Thank you for all the days you’ve made brighter just by being you.And that’s true for anyone from an immediate family member to a friend to more distant connections. Gratitude for the person’s life, their caring, and their influence really does make for a warm and affirming message. “Thank you” is one key message that writer and editor Marn Jensen tried to express often to her mother and father during their time in hospice. For someone who spends months in hospice, there will be more opportunities to write and visit, so consider reaching out multiple times. Helpful tip: Hospice care tends to last from several days to six months. “I’m praying for you to feel at peace and to know how much you’re loved.”.“I’m sad, of course, but I’m also glad you’re in a place where you don’t have to fight so hard anymore.”.“I don’t like this, but we’re going to do our best with this time.”.Just want you to know I support you and I’m glad you’re making the most of this time with the people you love.” “I know this wasn’t an easy decision to make.“You can keep praying for a miracle, but the person who’s dying needs you to affirm that it’s okay to stop fighting and to focus on peace and comfort instead.” “They’re tired of pain, tired of suffering, tired of fighting,” says Tracy. Inspired? Create and share by tagging AcceptanceĪccording to hospice nurse Tracy Riley, by the time a person has entered hospice care, they’ve accepted the fact that they’re dying, and it’s helpful for them to know that family and friends have accepted this, too. Whether you’re writing a note, spending time with them, or both, I hope you’ll find ideas for messages that offer comfort, bring a smile and, most of all, let someone know how much their life has meant to you. I’ve organized these writing tips and approaches by theme, but you certainly don’t have to stick to just one theme in what you write or say to someone who is dying. Marn also continues to stay connected to hospice through participants in her 2018 Wishes for the World project. The second is Marn Jensen, a retired Hallmark writer and editor who has seen both of her parents through hospice care in recent years.
If that sounds like two careers, well, it is-but Tracy is passionate about both Hallmark’s mission of helping people connect emotionally and hospice’s call to care for individuals and families facing the end of life.
The first is Tracy Riley, who is both a Hallmark administrative pro and an experienced hospice nurse. Luckily, I work with thoughtful people who have direct experience as caregivers and family members of someone in hospice, and they were gracious enough to share what they’ve learned. Most of us feel stifled and awkward when we think about what to say to someone in hospice care who has days or months to live.Ĭonfession time: I’m a longtime Hallmark writer, and I still felt stumped when asked about writing this kind of message. Unfortunately, our culture isn’t particularly comfortable with death and dying. The end of a person’s life is an important time for friends and family members to reach out with words of caring, support, and gratitude.